Here's what she said:
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18:40
Lydia
Surprising enough I actually suffer with split personality disorder!!
18:41
Jess
yeah?
that's interesting!! so basically i'm doing a project on it for uni, do u think you'd maybe be able to explain it? like how it works etc? x- 18:56
Lydia
You know what it's actually really bloody difficult too live with, I never really understood it until a few years ago when I was actually diagnosed, it's pretty hard to control also, Like some days I'll be completely fine like no one will know, but for me when I have been triggered which could be anything from like an argument or just waking up and being completely different, Like when I swap over I turn into a very very spaced out person, it makes me feel like everything I'm living is fake nothing really seems real, it feels like I'm living in a dream world and from what mum has said she notices when I've changed but I don't always realise I'm doing it, I get really on edge, very violent and also my voice changes, in my head I feel younger and also act childish without realise as too the way I don't understand people's emotions one day but the next day I'll understand completely, even some days it's gets SO bad that I can sometimes forget the existence of my real self, it makes me depressed and also feel lonely because I feel like I'm not myself, and it also triggered my eating disorder because I focus so bad in trying to come back too the reality. It's affected me in holding a job because one day I'm really on point and can focus and then next day I swap back too the side of a younger girl with a majority of problems and end up failing and walking out, which has made me loose 3 jobs infact, then the next day I'll be back too normal, it's kind of a hard things to explain without seeing me one day and seeing me when I switch, but the 2 sides of me seem too be the normal me who can hold down a job can cope with everyday situation and the other side of me is very very young and can't cope with anything, it's caused me too take 15 overdoses in the space of 2 years due too the stress it's caused not only too me but also my family, im starting too too do counselling too help me cope, but honestly itnlike the worst thing ever, I can't even explain the shit that goes on in my head, but I can say it makes me perceive life very very differently, But idk what sorta questions you wanna ask but go ahead I'm willing to answering anything
:) it's a difficult thing too basically write down what it does too me x - 19:01
Jess
wow that explanation was amazing, will you be okay with me using it as research? i'm so sorry to hear how badly it's been effecting you
😞 i really hope counselling helps you and helps you feel more in control that must be terrifying. I'm just wondering like when u change do u feel like a completely different person, or deep down do you know it's still you? - 19:19
Lydia
Yes thats absolutely fine:) I hope it's helped
I do too:( it's been a really difficult few years If I'm honest not just for me but people around me,
Like when I change I don't realise it until I'm coming out of it, I feel like a completely different person, it takes a while too come back too reality, then when I'm back to normal it all feels as if I've been in a dream, just repeats and repeats over and over and it makes me feel so confused!! X
I asked Lydia if she would be happy to answer more questions and she said she'd be more than willing, so I am going to make her the subject for my primary research. Its interesting that Lydia has split personality, she had a pretty traumatic time when we were in school - which is usually one of the leading causes of split personality. Her father died when she was around11/12 and she's battled an eating disorder for as long as I can remember, I wonder if these factors have contributed to her multiple personalities? Knowing Lydia personally and being a similar age to her is exactly what I need for this project. Instead of researching online and finding points of view from mainly adults, I want to have an understanding of how its affecting somebody my audiences age. This will give the piece more depth and potentially make it more relatable.
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